For the Lost Blog

Mira and Yaanis Mellersh were abducted by their mother from Germany in 2010; they were supposed to be living in England with their father. A few days ago they were found dead in Turkey, killed by their mother who then committed suicide. I have always hated the fact the British press uses the phrase “tug of love” for parental kidnapping, but the fact that many news outlets are continuing to use the phrase when the two children involved were murdered is frankly quite stunning. They have been added to the victims page. I don’t have the energy to cry over these anymore.

Adam Haseeb would have been sixteen years old today.

He would probably be excited about learning to drive and considering what he would do with himself after he graduated from high school. He’d almost be an adult. By all rights, his mother should have been thrilled with a day like today. Any parent should be. There are all sorts of things that he should be doing right now.

But he was abducted by his father and died in an accident in Syria, along with his father. No, not a murder, but if he hadn’t been abducted he would probably be here to celebrate this day. But he didn’t see his sixteenth birthday; he didn’t even see his tenth.

Adam Haseeb’s death affected me profoundly. It still does. His death was the third in a recent series (at the time) of children abducted by a parent who were found deceased. Perhaps that was the reason it affected me so much. Perhaps it was just Adam himself – a cute little boy with short hair, ears that stick out, and a big smile. Whatever the reason, if he had not died I probably would have not spent the last seven years throwing myself into the world of parental kidnapping. He was the one that inspired me to create a section of For the Lost for family abductions, which is now by far the biggest section of the site. I named them after him and his picture is on every page of the photo directory. He is perhaps my best example of the tragedy of family abductions. I have talked to his mother on occasion. I cannot even begin to imagine the grief she must still feel, but I hope she can take comfort in the fact he is not forgotten. Until I die, I will use his story as the inspiration for work on the behalf of those children who are still kidnapped, still missed by their parents.

Happy birthday, Adam. You are very much loved.